Whether you believe it or not, we negotiate in our lives everyday. Pleading and offering concessions to your kid to do his homework – that’s a negotiation. Buying a house? That’s definitely a negotiation. Disputing a charge on your credit card bill? Well, you get the point. So, if negotiation is a part of our routine tasks, what determines if you’re good at it or not? And what about jobs and industries that rely on you to be a successful negotiator? Does your everyday negotiation exercise actually hinder or help you?
To answer this question and gain some insight into what it’s like to have negotiation as a career skill, I reached out to Jakob Conner, owner of Jakob’s Ladder, an entertainment management company, and attempted to “negotiate” my way into getting a fictitious artist signed with his company. After about 2 hours, I was able to successfully get my artist signed; a major win for me since I was up against an artful negotiator. However, I had to give up an advance. After our mock negotiation, I was able to ask Jakob some direct questions about his experiences.
What do you find to be the most important skill in negotiating?
“People skills- hands down. If you are a person that cannot relate to people, do not have compassion and empathy, then negotiation is going to be a brutal, full contact sport. You have to remember that you’re dealing with people from beginning to end.”
Have you ever had any bad negotiation experiences? If so, how did you overcome them?
“Oh, I’ve had plenty. I think my worse negotiations had to do with me making bad assumptions about the other side; assumptions about their personalities or their positions in a company, it makes for a bad strategy. I’ve had to leave the room, take breaks and come back into the conversation with a clean mental slate in order to help talks progress.”
What do you do when you find that you’re not able to reach a mutual agreement?
“You try your absolute hardest to make negotiations work. And I’ve always walked into talks knowing what I was going to ask for, and with an open ear to what they were asking for, as well as a few alternatives, but after that, if negotiations do not work, they you have to make peace with that.”
Do you worry about being fair? If so, what kind of checks and balances do you have in place to ensure that you’re being fair?
“I don’t take much joy in being ruthless and squeezing everything I possible can from the other party. Yes, I worry about being fair. Depending on the deal, I always refer to precedence to guide me through the ins and outs of the deal.”
Do you find that having sharp negotiation skills improves other areas of your life?
“Absolutely. Negotiation has made me a better communicator, and has given me more patience.”
Any advice for me, or anyone moving forward in their careers regarding negotiation?
“I would say the most important advice I can give to anyone again is to realize that if you strip off all of the titles, and stereotypes, and assumptions, that you’re dealing with people. And with that comes people’s hopes, fears, needs and desires. Acknowledge those in the beginning, and you’re on your way to a successful session.
Excellent advice from Jakob, being that I entered our negotiation exercise nervous, knowing that Jakob had more experience and power at the negotiating table. The best move I could have made for myself (to ease the nerves) and for the other team was to shift the focus of power, acknowledge their experience/status, and move forward with my recommendations.
Although this was a mock exercise, it gave me a taste of what it’s like to negotiate in the entertainment industry where you’re often sitting at the table with moguls.
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